My Fair Romeo

Diagnosis: Trisomy 18

By Romeo's Mom

When we were in Disney World, my fiancé wished upon the star that we would get pregnant this year. Not even month later we found out I was pregnant. We conceived in that weekend in Florida, November 25, 2009. When we found out that we were going to have our baby we were so happy. This was going to be the best story to tell Lil Romeo, that his daddy wished upon the star at Disney to have him!

We thought everything was going great until my 18-week ultrasound when we noticed that things weren't right. There was fluid in his brain, clubfoot, two palate clefts, missing chambers to his heart, and spinal bifida. The only good news was that this was a boy.

They told us they wanted to have an amnio done to see if he had trisomy 18. Now here's the worst part: our doctor said he is more than 95 % sure our baby had trisomy 18 and if I was his wife he wouldn’'t let me keep him. "You should just get rid of him."

I cried. I tried to hold it back but I couldn’'t. I told him I didn’t want to hear any more until the test came back. Plus everything he said could have been fixed when he was born. So we waited three days for my doctor to call but he didn’'t. I had to call them, then they told me my doctor was too busy to talk to me. They said another doctor will be telling us the news.

Our baby did have trisomy 18 and they said he wouldn'’t make through the rest of the pregnancy. But if he did, he would suffer until he passed. So we thought that instead of making him suffer we were going to let him go. I called my family and told them what was going on. They said I was wrong to make such a decision. I had none of my family on my side. No one came to be with me except my fiancé and his mom. She is a neonatal RN so she understood.

It was so hard. When I got to the clinic the people looked at me with disgust. I didn’t want to do this. I was hoping when they were going to check his heart that it had stopped on its own. But it hadn’'t. They stuck a needle in my tummy to stop his heart. I wanted to die right there with him. The only thing that kept me going was my other two boys and my fiancé.

This happened on April 1st, 2010. His due date was suppose to be July 25th. The hardest part is that my close friends are all due around the same time. I can'’t go to baby showers, I can’'t stand the sight of a pregnant women or a newborn. I get so depressed and don'’t want to leave my room. It’s hard very hard to let go of something that was inside of me. But I will never forget my sweet Romeo Da'Vonte Jackson. You will always be here with me. My fair Romeo.

For those who are going through this, I’m praying for you. No one else can tell you what you'’re going through or if you'’re making a wrong decision, because they haven’t gone through it.

Go with your heart.


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