Finding a Reason
Diagnosis: Body Stalk Anomaly
By Froggy's Mom
I just wanted to share our story because I am finally healing and hope this can be of some comfort for others who have experienced this.
My husband and I were expecting our second child. My 3 year old had affectionately named the baby Froggy.
At 19 weeks we learned the baby had a body stalk anomaly and no chance for survival. We were heart broken and it was so hard to understand
why this was happening to us.
I took my prenatal vitamins, never drank or smoked, was so cautious about everything I put in my body to protect this baby and still we
had to make the choice to end his life.
People tell you things happen for a reason but how could I see anything positive in this? It's now been over two months and the reason
I got a call that I may be a match to donate bone marrow. They still have to do more testing so I am praying everything matches. Had we
not lost Froggy, I wouldn't be able to donate to this person in need.
I somehow know in my heart that this was all a part of God's plan. We may have lost our baby and a part of our family will always be
missing but it just might help someone else's family to not lose their loved one.
My prayers go out to each of you out there that have had to make a heartbreaking choice. We may not ever know why this has happened to
us but I have to believe there is a reason.
Mothers tell their stories...
I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her and did not want her to suffer. I would rather suffer every day for the rest
of my life than to allow her to suffer one moment in life.
~Mom of an Angel
Everything was going great. As already having two "normal" pregnancies under my belt, I felt confident. I knew there
was always that chance of hearing bad news but I said "no, not me, not our baby."
We felt that if our daughter had been in a car accident and was on life support with the same internal injuries, we would
not keep her on life support and let her suffer. This child deserved the same dignity."
~ A grieving mom
I initially thought I would "be brave" and continue my pregnancy. But I came to realize that ultimately it wasn't about
how strong I could be, how deeply I wanted this baby or what important lessons he could teach me. It was about what
he would experience in his short life. Given his diagnosis, he would have known only suffering. As his mother, I
couldn't allow that to happen.
~ A mother at peace
It was our ignorance for believing that all pregnancies led to a healthy baby. It was my arrogance for believing that since
I had the best medical care, took prenatal vitamins even before and during my pregnancy, never took drugs, never smoked
cigarettes and drank about half a glass of wine a year, that our baby would be safe.
~A bereaved mother
A mother will stop at nothing, including her own hurt, both mentally and physically, to protect her child.