The Journey

Diagnosis: Severe Intrauterine Growth Restriction

By Zoe Mar's Mommy

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for several years. I was pregnant a couple of years ago, and lost my baby around 11 weeks in Sept 2006. I was devastated because it was the first baby. My doctor informed me that miscarriages were pretty common for first pregnancies. We waited about 1 year 1/2 before trying again and became pregnant March 2008 but had another miscarriage at around 5 weeks. They tested the tissue of both but never found anything wrong. My doctor said that 2 miscarriages is still not uncommon.

In July of 2008 I became pregnant once again. I was so happy, and I wanted to do everything right. I was convinced that the 3rd time was the charm. Everything was going well, I was growing, and my doctor was monitoring the baby closely. I had a few ultrasounds, and I kept seeing the baby grow. I past my 3rd month and I was so relieved. I figured that I finally was going to have my baby.

I was scheduled for the ultrasound that would tell me the sex. My husband and I went to the ultrasound and found out it was going to be a girl. I cried at the ultrasound, I was amazed at the pictures, and I was so happy. The tech casually mentioned that the baby was a little smaller than the date that I told her but that it could just be that the dates were wrong. Everything went down hill from there. I was called to my doctor's office and was told that I needed to see a Perinatologist because of soft markers on the ultrasound.

I went to the Perinatologist and they found all kind of things wrong with our baby. They found that she was not growing and had intrauterine growth restriction, cleft lip, cleft pallet, and they also thought she had proboscis, a condition in the nose. The doctor informed us that everything indicated a genetic problem and that the baby would probably not survive. We waited for the amnio to come back but there were no answers. We went to see the doctor again and were told that the baby was not growing and that she was now 3 weeks behind schedule. The perinatologist advised that we make a heartbreaking decision because the baby did not have a lot of hope of living and if she did, she would have a lot of medical issues.

We went ahead and made that decision and our daughter Zoe Mar passed away on Dec. 6th, 2008. We were able to hold her, and see her before making arrangements for cremation. It has been the most difficult thing my life. I still cry on a regular basis. It is so hard. I just try to take things one day at a time. I carry a necklace with her ashes, that gives me some comfort.

We saw a genetic specialist that found that my husband has a translocation of the 4 & 6 chromosome and this is what is causing all of these problems. We still have to follow up and see what options are out there for us.

I do feel lonely at times, and feel like I am the only one going through this, so I am glad that this website is here, and is not judging. There is nothing more than I would like is to have my baby Zoe alive and well, and I appreciate that this site for that.


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