I Remember

For Samuel Mason Brown

I can remember the day I realized I was pregnant with you like it was yesterday.
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, I was memorized by your beauty and knowing you were all mine.
I remember all the joy you brought instantly in my life, I was so proud of everything that consisted of you.
I remember how badly I wanted you and to give you onlythe best in the world of everything.
I remember perfecting every detail that involved you, so it would be as perfect as you.
I remember the enormous love and dedication I had for you, and that it was only the beginning.
I remember your first kicks and roll overs, and how it was the most beautiful feeling in the world to experience.
I remember the day when I found out that you were very sick and there was nothing I could do to protect you and take it all away.
I remember the devastation and shock I felt when I traveled all over to get opinions on your illness.
I remember the the worst day in my entire life when I made the decision out of love and protection to take all your pain away.
I remember the empty feeling after you were gone, when my hands were empty with no baby to hold and kiss.
I remember feeling regret after you were gone and realized I made a decision based on your quality of life and didn't realize that without you in my life I lacked quality in my life.
I love you so very much Sammy and I could only hope that you will understand that I made my decision based on love for you and wanting to protect you from all the life threatening pain that was in your future.
You were very much wanted and planned, you were all my hopes and dreams. I am so sad that we had only 23 weeks together, but I cherish every memory I had with you. I miss you everyday and not a day goes by that you aren't on my mind.
I think about how old you would be and what you would be learning new today. You are my pride and joy, my everything, all mine and nobody can take you away from me or can ever change that.
You exist in my eyes everyday, you were made and you existed. You made a difference in this world with acknowledging so many of us of such a rare disease.
I believe that your purpose in this world was already made and accomplished even without you coming into it.
I am so very proud of you and I love you through in through. I am now not scared of death but only looking forward to finally seeing you and holding you in my empty arms one day.
Until that day comes remember I love you my first child, my sweet angel baby.

Love your heart-broken mommy

Kayla Rose Lindsey
Made Perfect In Heaven On:
August 26, 2001

Taking count from high above
the Lord noticed He needed a dove.
An angel He wanted for special chores,
He took mine and needed no more.

He gave her to me for such a short time.
I knew so little, that darling of mine.
I heard not her voice, I felt not her touch,
I only wish I'd have known her that much.

Safe in the arms of the Lord she went.
She didn't look back or have any regret.
Dear Kalya was happy, she was going home.
She would be rocked to sleep on the Great Fathers throne.

Her Mommy and Daddy, they miss her so.
Dear little Kayla set their hearts aglow.
How could she leave without saying 'good-bye?'
She just put on her wings and started to fly.

We will see you again Kayla, just you wait.
Meet Mommy and Daddy at that big golden gate.
We will bring hugs and tender kisses for you.
You can show us your palace and when you are through,
we can laugh and love like we should be now...
until then, I will get through some how.

I love you, sweet Kayla.
You made Momma proud.
I saw you dancing on the big, fluffy cloud.
I waved at you and you waved, too.
Mommy saw you, honey -
and I will see you soon!



Oh you, who have returned to the
infinite beginning

From whence we all have come,

Having made an end of what was
begun many years ago,

Have you become a star in some
undiscovered galaxy
are you a breath or a breeze

In the In-Breathing and Out-Breathing
of the universe?

For My Little Aiden Bradley

Your soul up in Heaven
Your little body here on earth
That is how it was
When your mommy gave you birth
God decided you were an Angel
He wanted there to keep
We know your watching over us now
It makes us want to weep
For we are the ones
Who should be watching you
Keeping you from pain
Knowing that we lost you
Now there’s nothing left to gain
We pray that God will keep you
With him, sheltered under his wing
When we meet again In Heaven,
All Angels will sing.
We love you Aiden.

In memory of my loving son Aiden Bradley,
who was loved and cared for so much here on earth,
hoping and praying that you're okay and god is taking care of you.
With love from your mother, Diana


Books on Loss and Grief

Our Heartbreaking Choices: Forty-Six Women Share Their Stories of Interrupting a Much-Wanted Pregnancy

The Dive :: A Memoir

A Time to Decide a Time to Heal: For Parents Making Difficult Decisions About Babies They Love

Precious Lives Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-Making Guide

Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby

Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss

Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss

Surviving Pregnancy Loss: A Complete Sourcebook for Women and Their Families

Difficult Decisions: For Families Whose Unborn Baby Has a Serious Problem

Books for Fathers, Family, Children and Friends

Couple Communication After a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives

For Better or Worse: For Couples Whose Child Has Died

How to Say it When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words For Difficult Times

A Guide For Fathers: When A Baby Dies

When Your Friend's Child Dies: A Guide to Being a Thoughtful and Caring Friend

When Pregnancy Fails: Families Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death

What You Can Say When You Don't Know What to Say: Reaching Out to Those Who Hurt

Books about Trying Again and Pregnancy after Loss

Journeys: Stories of Pregnancy After Loss

Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss

Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death