Information

This website supports women who have undergone a pregnancy termination due to a poor prenatal diagnosis, problems with their own health, or for the health of another fetus (selective reduction).

Please check our information section for links to books & videos, support groups and memorial ideas. If you have questions or would like assistnce with finding resources, please contact us.

If you learn that something is seriously or fatally wrong with your developing fetus, you are faced with making a difficult decision. If you choose to have an abortion, please call the NAF Hotline referral line 1-877-257-0012 for assistance finding a provider (no funding assistance provided on this line). For information about abortion and other resources, including financial assistance, please call 1-800-772-9100.

Informational Links

National Society of Genetic Counselors - Counseling to promote informed choices and adaptation to the risk or condition.

NORD - National Organization for Rare Disorders, Inc.

Genetic Alliance - We transform health through genetics. We promote an environment of openness centered on the health of individuals, families, and communities.

March of Dimes - Working together for stronger, healthier babies.

National Abortion Federation - (NAF) is the professional association of abortion providers in North America.

Chicago IVF - Your Resource for Infertility Information.

A Word To Our Visitors

For those of you who have come here for support, we are sorry this note has to be written. As stated above, this is a site for parents who have made the decision to end a much-wanted pregnancy due to severe or lethal birth defects. As we reach out to those parents, we also get site visitors who have not been through this tragedy. We would like to remind those people that this is a site for grieving parents, not for debate.

Peace,
The Administrators of A Heartbreaking Choice

We'd like to extend a special thank you to Maribeth Wilder-Doerr, who made this website and its extended network of support possible. This creation began in her heart ... and all the parents who have benefited from her care will be forever grateful.

Mothers tell their stories...

I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her and did not want her to suffer. I would rather suffer every day for the rest of my life than to allow her to suffer one moment in life.

~Mom of an Angel

Everything was going great. As already having two "normal" pregnancies under my belt, I felt confident. I knew there was always that chance of hearing bad news but I said "no, not me, not our baby."

We felt that if our daughter had been in a car accident and was on life support with the same internal injuries, we would not keep her on life support and let her suffer. This child deserved the same dignity."

~ A grieving mom

I initially thought I would "be brave" and continue my pregnancy. But I came to realize that ultimately it wasn't about how strong I could be, how deeply I wanted this baby or what important lessons he could teach me. It was about what he would experience in his short life. Given his diagnosis, he would have known only suffering. As his mother, I couldn't allow that to happen.

~ A mother at peace

It was our ignorance for believing that all pregnancies led to a healthy baby. It was my arrogance for believing that since I had the best medical care, took prenatal vitamins even before and during my pregnancy, never took drugs, never smoked cigarettes and drank about half a glass of wine a year, that our baby would be safe.

~A bereaved mother

A mother will stop at nothing, including her own hurt, both mentally and physically, to protect her child.

~Brokenhearted Mother