Mothers tell their stories...

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I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her and did not want her to suffer. I would rather suffer every day for the rest of my life than to allow her to suffer one moment in life.

~Mom of an Angel

Everything was going great. As already having two "normal" pregnancies under my belt, I felt confident. I knew there was always that chance of hearing bad news but I said "no, not me, not our baby."

~A Heartbroken Mother

We felt that if our daughter had been in a car accident and was on life support with the same internal injuries, we would not keep her on life support and let her suffer. This child deserved the same dignity."

~ A grieving mom

I initially thought I would "be brave" and continue my pregnancy. But I came to realize that ultimately it wasn't about how strong I could be, how deeply I wanted this baby or what important lessons he could teach me. It was about what he would experience in his short life. Given his diagnosis, he would have known only suffering. As his mother, I couldn't allow that to happen.

~ A mother at peace

It was our ignorance for believing that all pregnancies led to a healthy baby. It was my arrogance for believing that since I had the best medical care, took prenatal vitamins even before and during my pregnancy, never took drugs, never smoked cigarettes and drank about half a glass of wine a year, that our baby would be safe.

~A bereaved mother

A mother will stop at nothing, including her own hurt, both mentally and physically, to protect her child.

~Brokenhearted Mother


If You Are Undecided ...

A note from the editors of A Heartbreaking Choice

We know the nightmare you're living right now, we've been there too. The decisions to be made after a poor pre-natal diagnosis are some of the hardest decisions a parent ever has to face.

Only you and your partner can decide what is right for your baby, yourselves and your family. If you've not yet made your final decision, it is best to avoid the anyone whose opinion may be clouded by emotion; whether they've made a decision to terminate or continue a pregnancy following poor pre-natal diagnosis. What is right for one person may not be right for another. A better choice is to talk to genetic counselors, doctors, therapists or special education professionals. They can give you an objective view of what the future may hold. If potential religious issues are in the picture, talk to trusted clergy who will support you no matter what road you choose.

You should also do your own thorough research at the library or on medical web sites to find out all you can about your baby's condition and prognosis.

Whether we decide to continue or end a pregnancy following a catastrophic prenatal diagnosis, our very emotional survival requires that we know the choice we made was the right one for us. Careful researching combined with honest soul searching is the only way to reach what will ultimately be the right decision for you.

An excellent resource for finding up-to-date information on specific conditions can be found at Poor Prenatal Diagnosis.com.

If you do definitely decide to end the pregnancy, you can e-mail us for the support you'll need on the road ahead of you. If you decide to continue the pregnancy, we can help you locate support groups that deal with the specific issues you and your baby are facing. There are many web sites online that are dedicated to supporting women continuing their pregnancies following a poor prenatal diagnosis.

If you have questions about genetic counseling and genetic services, please call your local genetic clinic, March of Dimes office or contact the National Society of Genetic Counselors at 233 Canterbury Drive, Wallingford, PA 19806-6617, 610-872-7608.


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