We'll Never Forget

Diagnosis: Heart Defect and cystic hygroma

By Heartbroken Parents

Life has been tough and also cruel. My journey began in March 2007 when I was told my husband had a low sperm count and we would not be able to conceive naturally. I was also told I had a septate uterus and this would need to be operated on.

A few months after the operation we decided to embark on IVF (In vitro fertilization) with Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (CSI) treatment. I decided to give up my job to focus on the IVF to give it the best chance of working.

The first treatment resulted in me having a terrible reaction to the drugs - Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS.) Since this can be potentially life threatening* we were advised to stop treatment which we did. Our embryos were frozen at this point.

We then decided to switch to another local clinic which had a fantastic reputation in the area. We collected our embryos and transported them to the new clinic. We had 2 frozen attempts using these embryos which were unsuccessful.

In August 2009 we began our 4th attempt at IVF; it was successful. The joy was unbelievable. At our 2nd scan there were concerns as 3 soft markers were identified. We were offered an amnio, which we declined because the soft markers were all borderline. We were not offered a termination at this stage and decided to continue, even with a big worry on our heads. Luckily our baby daughter was born in June, 2010 with no defects.

This was a period of great joy, which lasted until July 2011. I fell pregnant naturally in April 2011 and our first scan was in July. After several scans we were advised that there was something seriously wrong. The amnio came back clear, but there were concerns because a heart defect and a cysctic hygroma* were identified. We decided to terminate the pregnancy. This was the hardest thing we have ever faced. We then went through the cremation and funeral.

We have been told there was no clinical diagnosis for what was wrong with our baby. We will never know why our baby had the problems he did.

As a couple, we feel so worn down by life and have lost that 'spring' in our step. We have just got past the due date and hope to start trying again in a few months time. We hope that time will be our healer and one day life will be a joy again. We will never forget our baby. This experience has changed us forever.

*You can find more information on Cycstic hygroma here: PubMed.gov and on OHSS here: Pub Med Health members of the U.S. National Library of Medicine.

Mothers tell their stories...

I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her and did not want her to suffer. I would rather suffer every day for the rest of my life than to allow her to suffer one moment in life.

~Mom of an Angel

Everything was going great. As already having two "normal" pregnancies under my belt, I felt confident. I knew there was always that chance of hearing bad news but I said "no, not me, not our baby."

We felt that if our daughter had been in a car accident and was on life support with the same internal injuries, we would not keep her on life support and let her suffer. This child deserved the same dignity."

~ A grieving mom

I initially thought I would "be brave" and continue my pregnancy. But I came to realize that ultimately it wasn't about how strong I could be, how deeply I wanted this baby or what important lessons he could teach me. It was about what he would experience in his short life. Given his diagnosis, he would have known only suffering. As his mother, I couldn't allow that to happen.

~ A mother at peace

It was our ignorance for believing that all pregnancies led to a healthy baby. It was my arrogance for believing that since I had the best medical care, took prenatal vitamins even before and during my pregnancy, never took drugs, never smoked cigarettes and drank about half a glass of wine a year, that our baby would be safe.

~A bereaved mother

A mother will stop at nothing, including her own hurt, both mentally and physically, to protect her child.

~Brokenhearted Mother