A Brief Note of Encouragement

By Someone Who Has Been There

Dear AHC Moms and Dads,
I just wanted to send a brief note of encouragement to you.

In 1998, my husband and I chose to end a Trisomy 21 pregnancy in which the fetus had several major defects. We found out by amniocentesis and ultrasound.

Even though we already had a healthy two-year-old daughter at the time, we still felt that our lives had been ripped out from under us. We were both young with no family history of birth defects. We were devastated. Moreover, we lived in an area where there was a significant population of uninformed, judgmental, anti-choice individuals, which made our tragedy even more difficult to deal with. It was quite a while before we were ready to try again.

In 2002 we did try again and we gave birth to a beautifully healthy, happy baby boy! He is wonderful and he and our now eight-year-old daughter are the joy of our lives. God is a good God and He wants good things for us. Seek Him and don't give up!

Mothers tell their stories...

I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her and did not want her to suffer. I would rather suffer every day for the rest of my life than to allow her to suffer one moment in life.

~Mom of an Angel

Everything was going great. As already having two "normal" pregnancies under my belt, I felt confident. I knew there was always that chance of hearing bad news but I said "no, not me, not our baby."

We felt that if our daughter had been in a car accident and was on life support with the same internal injuries, we would not keep her on life support and let her suffer. This child deserved the same dignity."

~ A grieving mom

I initially thought I would "be brave" and continue my pregnancy. But I came to realize that ultimately it wasn't about how strong I could be, how deeply I wanted this baby or what important lessons he could teach me. It was about what he would experience in his short life. Given his diagnosis, he would have known only suffering. As his mother, I couldn't allow that to happen.

~ A mother at peace

It was our ignorance for believing that all pregnancies led to a healthy baby. It was my arrogance for believing that since I had the best medical care, took prenatal vitamins even before and during my pregnancy, never took drugs, never smoked cigarettes and drank about half a glass of wine a year, that our baby would be safe.

~A bereaved mother

A mother will stop at nothing, including her own hurt, both mentally and physically, to protect her child.

~Brokenhearted Mother